Acting Principal
Learning from our mistakes
The great thing about mistakes is that everyone makes them. No one is safe from messing up, from your football coach to the Australian cricket captain. The important thing is learning a lesson and trying to do better next time around. We are a Catholic school in the Edmund Rice tradition. One key value we espouse is forgiveness. And sometimes, when dealing with young boys, we need to lean on that value a lot!
While “there are no mistakes, only lessons” might sound like the kind of Insta-quote you scroll past every day, the message is vital. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has to deal with them. The mindset needed in an inclusive community is that we see mistakes as opportunities, a chance to pick up a little extra knowledge and improve. It’s how you recover that comes to define you.
When working with our students, we try and first teach them to accept their mistakes - own the error, and do not try justifying their words or actions when they are wrong.
From here, there are some handy tips to help our sons, even ourselves, deal with messing up.
- You are not your mistake - When you make a mistake, keep in mind that it doesn’t define who you are. No one’s perfect, and that’s okay. Try not to jump to conclusions about your worth or value.
- Own it - Face your mistake head-on, own what happened and draw a line under it. It can be tempting to look for an easy out. “I didn’t pass my driving test because the instructor had it in for me!” - realising you’re at fault is the first step to moving forward. The sooner you own your mistake, the sooner you can get yourself back on track.
- Recognise your mistake - If you’re confused about what you did wrong or where the mistake was made, it can be tricky to put it in the past. Chances are it’ll still annoy you. Try discussing with someone else who’s involved so that you’re sure of what not to do next time.
- Find the fix and give it a crack - Most problems have a solution, and if you’ve messed up, sit down and think about what you could do to improve the situation. You might find that you can smooth some things over and that it’s not as bad as you initially thought. Try and talk to the person if you have wronged someone.
- Talk it out - When you make a huge mistake, don’t feel that you have to cope with it on your own. Talk to your teachers or family about it. They might just say something that sheds light on what happened and makes you feel better.
When a mistake is made, the next step for us is crucial in a community that embraces forgiveness and inclusion. An extract from a Bear Grylls book titled “Soul Fuel” best sums up what needs to happen next.
It can be tempting to try and bury both shame and hurt deep within us - to pretend it (the mistake) never happened. But the unavoidable truth is that we all need forgiveness, and we all need to forgive. One of the strongest reasons for forgiving someone (and asking for forgiveness) is the bitter alternative. When we refuse to forgive or refuse to let go of our own guilt in return, it really hurts us. We’re the ones who get burned up inside. We’re the ones who suffer.
Mr David Johnston
Acting Principal
